All That Matters
by Kira-sensei
Summary: Just after the battle where Nicol Amalfi died at the hands of Kira Yamato. Athrun remembers his fallen comrad and what could have happened between them. Basically my favourite scene in Phase 30 put down into words with a bit more a twist.[AthrunxNicol]


Silence filled the well-lit lounge. Nothing could be heard after my two teammates had left the room. 

_"My two team mates..."_

After the battle outside Orb, we had lost one of our team members. One we were all so close to, but took for granted. Was this our punishment?

Anger and frustration rose from within my core. I balled my hand into a fist, holding back the tears that threatened to escape. In one swift motion, I slammed my hand against one of the many blue lockers that lined the wall. But not just _a_ locker, _his_ locker.

It swung open with a sharp 'squeak'. I glanced into the small dark space and noticed the familure red jacket that the whole team wore. Reaching a hand out for it, I pulled it from the metal hanger. As the uniform let go of the metal frame many sheets of paper fell from it, spreading out accross the floor. Long lines and bars marked the paper, where large and small notes had been drawn in.

"Nicol..." I mummbled, colapsing to my knees.

I clutched the young boy's jacket tightly, feeling for his presence. The tears now flowed freely down my face. Hanging my head a few strands of blue hair fell into my eyes, shadowing my saddened green orbs. I reached down tracing the tips of my shaking fingers accross the sheet music. I could still hear him play. The beautiful notes blending into a wonderful harmony, the sounds of the audience clapping for the green haired pianist.

"Why...?" I questioned, a soft sob echoing from my lips.

I could see that day clearly. Back home on PLANTS, I could see him all dressed up for his recital. Everything seemed so clear.

_Sitting in the theatre I waited for the curtains to open. Many people filed into the room taking their seats as the room darkened and the velvet curtains opened._

_A voice from some sort of sound system spread over the room, introducing the Pianst as Nicol Amalfi. The brown eyed youth bowed before taking his seat in front of the shining grand piano. He smiled and hovered his fingers above the keys as all eyes turned to him._

_The music began to flow as soon as he played the first note. The beautiful melody filled the room and everybody relaxed to enjoy the preformance. When the last piece started, I felt so calm that I fell into a light slumber. Though every note echoed in my ears._

_I was awoken when the music stopped and the audience began to clap. Instantly I stood up and clapped along with them. Nicol looked down towards me flashing a warm smile. I smiled back at him, glad to have finally come to one of his recitals._

_When I arrived aboard the Vesailius later that week, I was met by the same boy. He still smiled like he always had._

_"Hey, Athrun," He said as we floated down the curved hallway._

_"Hey," I responded calmly, my mind back on Kira._

_"What'd you think of the recital?" Nicol asked._

_"Oh, it was great. You really play the piano quite well," I answered, turning to face him._

_"Oh, come on. You were sleeping," the green haired youth accused._

_"Ah, no I was just resting my eyes," I hastily explained._

_"Well anyways...I'd really love to play a real concert someday," He chuckled, his cheerful brown eyes locking with mine._

More tears flowed down my face. I couldn't bare to think that I would never see him smile like that again.

"Why...Why couldn't I have just stayed awake?" I asked as l sobbed, holding back a slight laugh.

The music lay strewn in front of me, but I dare not read it. Holding the jacket close I brushed my cheek against the fabricque. Nicol was a friend to me. A very close friend. And he was the kindest person I had ever met. And thinking back on it I couldn't remember a time where he was ever even close to angry.

I could clearly hear his last words ringing through my mind.

"_Athrun...run...!"_

He had gave up his life for mine. Why did he save me? Why didn't he let me die?

"_He was my friend that's why,_" I thought, loosening my grip on the, now crinkled, ZAFT ellite uniform.

It was all Kira's fault. He had killed the young pianst. Nicol was only 15! He shouldn't have died! Just like Rusty and Miguel shouldn't have died...Why did I care for Nicol more? Was it true that I may have had stronger feelings for him then I let myself show? Could Nicol have been '_more than just a friend_' to me? What if...we could have been lovers? I thought of things that I would have never thought before. Why were these feelings towards the Blitz pilot only surfacing now? I guess these questions would never receive answers.

Slowly I put the jacket back on the hanger, and crouched down picking up the sheet music. Standing up, I shuffled the music into one pile and glanced out the window to the Docking bay, where the Mobile Suits stood recharging and being repaired. The Aegis was missing a few limbs and part of the head, but it would be operational by the next battle for sure.

Brushing my tears away with my sleeve, I let a new emotion take me over. One of hatred. Hatred for the pilot who took away Nicol's chance at life.

"Kira...I'm going to give it my all from now on. No more holding back. I will avenge Nicol's death!" I shouted to no one inperticular.

I glanced down at the music one last time. The heading, "**Theme of Tears**" caught my eye. But I simply tucked the sheet music into my jacket and left the pilot's lounge. Nicol would not be forgotten. And Kira would pay for what he had done, I no longer cared if he was my childhood friend.

Nicol was all that mattered.

---

_I know...Not my best fic. But hey it's a first for me to not write in an OC's point of view! I just chose one of my favourite scenes from Phase 30. This is how I saw the scene. Well please R&R! Ja ne!_

_P.S. I wanted to mention that if anyone has an idea for a Gundam SEED one shot or a favourite scene put down into words, message me! I'll do pretty much anything except sex scenes, and Fllay scenes. I never really liked Fllay. Glances around at Fllay Lovers Hehe...I didn't say I hated her...Well anyway message me!_


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